counseling, Marriage coaching, Marriage counseling

Finding each other 

God has entrusted my husband and I with four beautiful children. Finding each other through out life has become challenging to say the least. It has required saying no to many great things and being purposeful with our moments, to stay close to each other. There is a fierce battle that often rages to separate our connection and destroy our intimacy. I know that we are not alone and many people’s eyes are not open to the ways that the Enemy tries to come in and take apart marriages piece by piece. The traps are often found in busyness, jobs, activities and even ministry. The gap widens ever so slowly that before you know it you are continents away from the one you made a covenant to do life with. Often I see couples who fear that there is no way to return back. Believing the lie that there is no way to rekindle the love and passion that once was. May I encourage you that there is a way to return. You can find each other’s hand again. Often the first step is recognizing that it has happened. Set up a date to get to know each other again. Let it be a time where you each take turns to share about where you are at and what is going on in your mind and life. Take interest in the other as they share. I see often that this moment gets destroyed by lingering unforgiveness with each other. In order to restore there has to be a putting down of the swords. A mutual agreement to forgive what is broken and to both vow to do things differently. Emphasis on mutual. We can easily become prideful and feel the other contains all the sin. When I am working with couples on restoring connection I ask them individually what they feel that they need to do differently. This is not to say that there are not other things that might need to be changed but it is easier to start with ourselves. When I have a couple who are both willing to own their areas of growth progress is made quickly. When we refuse to be humble and allow growth in ourselves we are harming our own life first and foremost. There is much joy and freedom found in humility. Pride is a prison that can prevents us from experiencing the fullness of what God has. To be honest pride is one of the most grievous things to witness in another person’s life. I encourage you to allow God to search your heart today and show you areas that you could grow in. Take the time to date your spouse and have deep heart to heart conversations. Know each other and be unashamed. This is where true connection is found. Blessings.