christian coaching, counseling, Insecurity, Marriage coaching, parent coaching

Creating a culture of unity

Similarly, a family splintered by feuding will fall apart. – Mark 3:25
At home it is very easy to become divided within our home. Children bickering and spousal disagreements can stir up all sorts of turmoil within our four walls. Soon we can easily find ourselves despising the ones we live with. Changing this type of quarrelsome atmosphere requires a lot or purpose and humility. Almost a year ago I found my own children to be at complete odds with each other… They seriously despised the other breathing because it was too loud or the rhythmic pattern was wrong. They would debate to no end how they were right in their perspective.  It was enough to make any mother want to pack her bags and leave. I had hit my limit and they were each blinded by their pride so it was like arguing with a fool and scripture warns that is useless to do so. The past couple years the Lord has been teaching me about the power of love and how transforming it is. Through this journey I came to a simple conclusion either we are adding love or taking love from our relationships. When we add in our relationships (as long as they are healthy)  they flourish and grow. When we take (selfish acts) they diminish and lose life. I established one standard in our home we are either giving or taking love. This one standard cut out so much debate. I began to ask my children “were you giving or taking love?” The typical reply was taking and the debate was settled. The question cut straight to their heart and pierced all arguments. It’s especially hard when we have been wronged. We can lash out believing we are justified but the motive of our heart is not love but retaliation, by choosing this our house becomes divided. A divided house falls. This also extends to all relationships. Especially our marriage. Do our everyday actions add love or take from our marriage? How about our relationship with our children are we adding love or taking? We are encouraged to build each other up and hold each other accountable! Love encourages and keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13). I challenge you to look at the relationships in your life how are you adding and building into those you love?